Inspiration Kothai Aache?

Hiatus, sabbatical, interregnum. Naaht! It's been sheer laziness and lack of a will to do that've driven me away from posting, or driven me towards not posting (glass half-empty, half-full scenario here).

Anyway, here I am. I'm not just here, I'm here with a purpose. That purpose is to reflect on childhood (in a sense). I say that it's a reflection of childhood "in a sense". I am not making a concrete statement about this entry's "reflection on childhood"ness because I'm unsure at this juncture what this entry is going to turn out to be.

There are some things I don't get. If I don't get something (a concept, for example) in class, I annoy the rest of the class (wake them up) by getting my doubt cleared. On other occasions, I form my own theories, and try to live within the framework of those theories. Some things I don't get leave me flabbergasted - I'm at a loss for theories to describe the laws that govern them.

Where do people around my age get inspiration for sad, morbid poems. Some of the stuff I've seen my peers do is really, really deep. The kind of thing that you read, and it makes you go "only godly inspiration could have created this". Dark poetry about the cold and clammy hands of death, and about unforgiving time. Brilliant personifications, metaphors and analogies that make the writing come alive.

The thing is, I fail to see how a teenager could have had those many sad experiences. Teenage life does have its low points, but they're ever so brief. There's only so much sadness that a person who lives off his parents can experience, right? Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I've just led a passive teenagehood. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe the morbid poet in me didn't get a chance? The blame game is awesome, innit?

On a related note, God-men try to free themselves from the cycle of birth and rebirth by refusing fun, and things like movies, which are illusions that remove you from the way life actually is. Who actually wants to be free from the cycle of birth and rebirth? Life's awesome right? You have things like Hot Chocolate Fudge and the beauty of mathematics and algorithms to make your stay here pleasant. I've been told that a human lifetime is a blessing. "Imagine if you're reborn as a hog". Frankly, eating a lot, sleeping and rolling around in mud doesn't sound so bad at all.